From Muted to Bold: How God Redeemed My Silence
“From Muted to Bold: How God Redeemed My Silence”
🔑 I Deleted My YouTube Channel “KieraDenise1225”: My Mistake Didn’t Cancel My Mandate
In June of 2017, I was nearing the final stretch of pregnancy with my son. From the outside, it may have looked like I was pulling it all together—finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But in truth, I was still deep in the tunnel, navigating shadows, trauma, and spiritual confusion that refused to let up.
I was officially separated from counterfeit#2. He was no longer living with me, and for the first time in a long time, I could breathe without feeling crushed. My dad moved in to help, and I appreciated his sacrifice. God began surrounding me with just enough provision to survive—neighbors brought encouragement, organizations stepped in to support me, and I found a therapist to begin untangling years of emotional and spiritual damage.
I even began returning to God—praying, reading my Bible, listening to worship music, and diving into Christian books and movies. I bought a car using my tax refund, picked up night shifts and rideshare driving by day. For a moment, it felt like I was rebuilding from the ashes.
But the trauma I had endured didn’t go away overnight—and the enemy knew that.
Though counterfeit#2 was out of my apartment, he wasn’t out of my heart or mind. I was still trying to co-parent, still entertaining the illusion that he could change. I invited him to the hospital for the birth of our son—a moment that should’ve been holy and peaceful. Instead, it opened the door for him to re-enter my life… and just like that, the small sprouts of restoration I was experiencing began to wither.
He moved back in. And with him came a heavy spiritual darkness that suffocated everything God had begun to restore. I lost my job. Friendships dried up. My car was repossessed. I couldn’t pay rent. I had a newborn and no safety net. I tried to keep praying, keep pressing, but every time counterfeit#2 whispered empty promises about fixing our marriage, I’d fall back into the cycle. I was bound by the fear of failure, of being alone, and the idolatry of false hope.
And then came the betrayal that shattered everything.
Counterfeit#2 committed adultery while we were still legally married. He fathered a child with another woman who boldly and unashamedly inserted herself into our marriage. She dictated when and how he could communicate with me. Then she weaponized social media, sending waves of attacks through fake accounts, false accusations, and smear campaigns.
This woman—a public figure with influence—launched coordinated attacks on all of my platforms. The very spaces where I shared my journey of redemption and hope in Jesus Christ were being tainted and twisted. I was humiliated. And instead of standing in my God-given authority and letting Him fight for me, I folded under the weight of shame.
In fear and humiliation, I deleted everything—including my YouTube channel, “KieraDenise1225,” a platform God had confirmed many times was a part of my calling. I let the enemy bully me off the battlefield. Instead of putting on the whole armor of God, I stripped it off and ran. I silenced my voice. I erased my witness. And the grief of that decision would haunt me for years.
In my pain, I blamed God. I raged at Him. I accused Him of setting me up to fail. I believed the lie that He had given me promises just to watch me fall. I couldn’t see my own idolatry, my refusal to fully surrender, my broken view of love, or the shame that blinded me.
But God…
He never left me. Even in my silence, He was speaking. Even in my rebellion, He was rescuing. And even though I had deleted my channel, tried to erase my story, and almost forfeited my purpose—God refused to let me go.
Over time, He began to rebuild me. Slowly. Painfully. Powerfully.
He reminded me of Numbers 23:19–20:
“God is not a man, that He should lie,
Nor a son of man, that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not do?
Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?
Behold, I have received a command to bless;
He has blessed, and I cannot reverse it.”
The promises God made to me in Spring 2016 still stood. My mistake didn’t cancel my mandate. My silence didn’t nullify His word. And no enemy—no counterfeit relationship, no social media attack, no smear campaign—can stop what God has ordained.
What I thought was the end was actually a pause—a divine Selah.
And if He did it for me, He will do it for you.
🔑 ACTIVATION: Reclaim Your Voice, Rebuild Your Altar
Reflect & Repent: Write down every platform, gift, relationship, or calling that you walked away from out of fear, shame, or attack. Identify what the enemy tried to silence in you. Bring it before the Lord.
Realign & Rebuild: Write down the lies you’ve believed. Lies like “I’m not worthy,” “God let me down,” or “It’s too late.” Then cross them out and write God’s truth over them. Ask the Holy Spirit for the original assignment. What did God ask you to build before the enemy’s voice got louder?
Reclaim & Reestablish: Begin restoring what God entrusted to you. Whether that means reactivating a social platform, starting fresh, or simply sharing your testimony, do it from a place of obedience—not performance. Ask God to redeem what’s been lost. Nothing is beyond His reach. The time you think is wasted? He restores it. The voice you think is silenced? He resurrects it.
Declare this out loud:
“I will not be silenced. I will not be muted. My story is not shameful—it is sacred. What the enemy meant for evil, God is turning for good. I reclaim my voice, my platform, my purpose. I belong to Jesus Christ, and I choose to rise.”
🔑PRAYER OF RECLAMATION
Heavenly Father, Thank You for Your mercy that chased me down even when I ran away. I thank You that Your Word is eternal—unshaken by my rebellion, unmoved by my mistakes. I come before You today, laying down every ounce of shame, fear, doubt, and pain. I surrender the seasons where I felt abandoned, mocked, and misunderstood. Lord, You saw it all. You were there in the silence, in the betrayal, in the confusion. And You never gave up on me. I repent for deleting what You called me to declare. I repent for the times I ran from You. I repent for the times I let shame define me instead of Your truth. Forgive me for abandoning the very platforms and promises You called me to steward. Forgive me for listening to the lies of the enemy and allowing fear to rule my obedience. I surrender my shame, my wounds, and my voice to You.
Jesus, redeem the places in my life where I let the enemy steal my voice. I choose to believe You again. I choose to hope again. I choose to trust You again. Where the enemy stole territory, I declare divine repossession. Where I was silenced, I will now speak. Where I was shamed, I will now shine for Your glory. Restore what I deleted in fear. Restore to me the vision, passion, and purity with which You first called me. Rebuild what I tore down in sorrow. Breathe new life into the calling You placed on my life. Use my story to heal others. Let my voice carry Your glory. And let every weapon formed against me fall powerless at Your feet. In Jesus’ name, I reclaim my assignment and align myself with Your will again. Amen. Amen. Amen.
